Friday, September 30, 2011

Don't Be Aggressive - Be Assertive! Part One

Within every relationship, whether we realise it or not, there is always an underlying  struggle for power.   Strange though it may seem, power doesn't rest with the person who tries to dominate.   True power is your ability to stand up and speak up for yourself.   Power is being able to assert yourself, not being aggressive!

There have been a few concerns amongst my Facebook mums about their child being bullied, or whether their child will be bullied at kindergarten or school.   When you have an aggressive tiny tot then he or she will just try to bully anyone and everyone.  This tendency does change though, so that by about age 8 or 9 (say, third class) the bully targets their victim/s.  I have seen this described as engaging in a "kind of shopping process to find people they can control".

Unfortunately, victims of bullies seem to be those who come across to others as being vulnerable, and who are unable to defend themselves.   This is one major reason why bullies get away with it - they pick on people who are not able to stand up for themselves, or defend themselves.

Sadly, when people radiate this air of vulnerability it does make others feel uncomfortable, and this is apparently a reason for the fact that when someone is being bullied nobody comes to help them.  The victimised child or person has not learned how to assert themselves, which is an essential skill to get us through our lives.

I believe we all need to have or develop the skill of being assertive, so have decided to do a series of small blogs about how we can teach ourselves to be more self-confident and more assertive.   I know from personal experience that lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, insecurity, anxiety are all traits that we must overcome in order to become assertive.

Finally, for this first blog of a series, remember that being assertive does NOT mean being aggressive or threatening, it just means that you have the confidence to approach others, to speak up for yourself, and to stand up for yourself.

The Worm Turned - And All The Glass Fell Out!

We all know what it is like with a tiny tot, where you are run off your feet all day, and never seem to get a  proper night's sleep.  You are running a house, perhaps working as well, and caring for a family, and you just seem to operate on autopilot most of the time.   I think you will laugh at this story, and the ones who will hopefully enjoy it the most are the mums who have or have had Post Natal Depression.   I suffered quite badly from PND, and it was no picnic.  One of the awful things I found was that I would fly into an insane rage over nothing.  I had to put a door between me and my baby.  I loved her to distraction but I was terrified I would do something to hurt her.  The only help way back then was a course of hormones and fluid tablets.  They did help, but things could have been better.

I had a truly horrible husband (of whom I have already written a little) who was jealous of his own daughter, as she had most of the attention.  Well, that is what happens when you have children, isn't it?  They are the ones who are totally dependent, and it is supposed to be up to us adults (I use that term loosely) to meet the needs of our children.    My ex, when he didn't have an audience of parents or neighbours, would ignore our tiny girl, he never spoke to her, or picked her up, or played with her.  Unless I pushed hard for him to do so.  If he said anything it was usually a huge criticism.   So that is a little of the background to my story.  Now to set the scene.
When I was halfway through cooking the evening meal, he decided he didn't want what I was cooking.  Terrific, I am already doing two meals - one for Katie and one for us.  So I have to turn around and do different vegetables and meat for him. More fool me, you say.  But then I was having a number done on my head remember? And horribly down.   I was already running late, and Katie, who was just able to pull herself up on the furniture at this stage, was hungry and whining.   Ex had his backside parked in his chair as usual, in front of the television.  Because God help us, we mustn't miss the news, must we? 
I had taken her food off and had started to put it through the MouliBaby (hand puree thingo!) when Katie started bellowing like mad.   She was standing at her father's knee, holding on to him and his chair.  He didn't even make eye contact with her.   He didn't speak, or pick her up to comfort her.  He ignored her as if she wasn't there.   I started getting madder and madder.  Katie cried more and more.


I popped her tea into her warm divided dish, and raced through the hall into the lounge room and picked her up.  By this time I was in a fury with him for being an uncaring insensitive pig.   I snarled at him through gritted teeth "I don't know how you can just SIT there and ignore her".   And I charged out through the hall, back to the kitchen.    Between the hall and the kitchen was a glass door, which had never been shut in the almost 6 years we had lived in our home.   In my temper I grabbed the door and slammed it shut behind me.
I put my little lady into her high chair, buckled her in, and started to feed her while she and I 'chatted' to each other.   I had given her probably 2 spoons of food when there was the weirdest noise, a whooshing and tinkling and a sort of crash?  I stopped and thought "what on earth was that?" - and when I turned my head to look where the sound came from I could have died of fright.  The glass in the door had just shattered and hovered there and then all fell out.......


I was honestly freaking out about what he would do, and could hardly breathe.  I just quietly kept feeding Katie, and out came the ex.   I couldn't look at him.  Breathe, breathe, don't panic, don't panic.   And he stood there for a minute and then said "You did a good job on that didn't you?"   I (being stupid and never knowing when to shut up) said "yep, I did".  Much to my total amazement he just quietly cleared all the rubble away and never said another word.

Winking smile

The best part of this?  I worked part time for a glazier, and my boss thought this was so damned good that she replaced the glass for nothing!  She had been married to an extremely lazy man, and she laughed so hard about my door that it made her day.  And bless her because I could laugh then as well.  I think sometimes there is justice.


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Suicide by Email

No I am not going to top myself, giggles coming out of me everywhere now (truly).  I am so very tired as not slept at all last night, just lay there whining to myself.  And that isn't a new phenomenon either!  So I went onto my blog and replied to a couple of comments.  When I scrolled down the page I could have sworn I saw "Suicide by Email"  so it stopped me cold.  I sat for a second and scrolled down again. Only to find it said "Subscribe by Email" which truly set me off into hysterics.  It is probably through tiredness, but also my sight is total crud.  I am scarily short-sighted, and have bad astigmatism (apparently these were caused by measles, sigh).   So, I cannot get on with a pair of bi-focals, I can't wear my contact lenses any more because of a disease of the eye similar to herpes virus.  When I need to read or do anything on the computer, for example, my glasses get perched on the end of my nose.  I think I am running out of nose.....

Today has been a weird day in a week of weird days.  My sim card for my mobile phone died, and I cannot remember when (snigger) - could have been last night but mush memory won't reveal that detail.   I charged up the old mobile (hours and hours and tedious hours) and transferred the sim to that phone.  Nope.  Kept saying "Insert SIM card".  Well listen, you prat phone, I have.  So today it decided to rain like billy-o for the first time in what feels like months but I am sure is only weeks.  Right when I am about to leave for the shopping centre.  Hey ho.

I presented self at the Vodaphone kiosk and the nice young fella gave me a replacement SIM card, and took a load of details from me.  He put all into the computer and told me it would probably be half an hour, but sometimes could take up to 3 hours.  In half an hour I was to switch phone off and on again and I would be registered to the network.  Hmmm...  oh no I wasn't.   Four hours later, nothing, nada, zip, zero.  So I thought ok, phone 3 Network and see what happens.  There I met a really nice lady with an unfortunately heavy Indian accent.  Sigh.  With perseverance we got through it though.  She was  cross about the Vodaphone guy, and said he should have phoned them, they didn't even have a request for registering new SIM!  So oh dear, he is in trouble as she is giving feedback to the manager.  Upshot was that because of the messing around she activated my SIM immediately! Hooray.  Wish she didn't bother as all there was on the phone was missed call about 4 to 6 times, some fool trying to sell me insurance.  Grrrr - get off my phone.

I couldn't believe how busy it was at the shops, insane.  I think it must still be school holidays but who knows now my girl isn't at school.  Someone said it was as bad yesterday, no parking spaces to be had and there are five enormous car parks, so there must have been thousands there.  Everyone was in such a happy mood though that it was quite a pleasure to be there!

I told the shop assistants that it was awful, grey and pouring rain, but when I came out it made a liar of me, as the rain had gone and the sky was blue, with sun shining.  Um.... ha ha. Not the world's most exciting day, but for me it was tiring, as I did the grocery shopping as well.  And was so bushed afterward that all I could do was come home!   Poor old hag I am!  

Our other not exciting thing was that one of the cordless phones has gone kaput.  Which is royal pain in the backside, as we have a phone down each end of our house.  Which is BIG.  So if the phone rings I find myself ducking out of the rumpus room sliding door, shuffling across the patio and in the kitchen sliding door to answer it - that being the shortest route from A to B - and every time but one I have just made it when the caller hangs up.  Argh.   Not impressed at all.  I did fiddle with the other cordless, and it worked for 5 minutes, but could hardly hear the caller, and then the phone went dead again.  Hilarious as they can hear me, but I can't hear anything except dead air.

So that is one dishwasher dead, one tumble dryer dead, one phone dead and one sim card dead.  What happened to things coming in threes?

One Bullet Each


The parents of a 10-month-old girl used a jug to force-feed her until she died, the Old Bailey has heard.The baby was made to take solid foods, including meat and cereals, through a spout probably for months until her death in March 2010, jurors heard. She collapsed and died from pneumonia caused by her airways being filled.Her mother, 31, and father, 37, who lived in east London and cannot be named, deny allowing or causing the girl's death through force-feeding.
The court heard the girl's mother was a nurse and her parents had been giving her solids from the age of six months.They also have three other children who had all displayed signs of inappropriate feeding and had been warned about the dangers of force feeding, jurors heard.Andrew Edis QC, prosecuting, said: "This is a very sad case. She died because of the method by which her parents chose to feed her at the time she was being introduced to solid food. "The allegation is one of force-feeding. If you have a child who is distressed and choking, you do not carry on." Jurors were told the child was given no choice and the food had overflowed into her lungs. Mr Edis said: "It involved the use of jugs - pouring food into the mouth of the child. "The spout was placed into the mouth of the child to prevent her closing it when she did not want any more - to prevent her having any choice." He said, being a nurse, the mother would have "a degree of extra insight". "An ordinary mother would think twice or more before using a jug to pour food into the mouth of a child," he added. The trial was adjourned until Friday.

When this popped up on my News Feed in Facebook I was so absolutely stunned and distressed. I cried as I read it, for the innocent baby who would have had no idea what was happening to her.  This pair need to be stood against a wall and shot.   What they have done is mimic a form of torture where the victim had liquids forced into his stomach, usually water, until the stomach burst.   

The so called mother in this case is supposed to be a NURSE?  Un-bloody-believable to put it politely.  Can you imagine being nursed by an object like her?   God help her patients if this is how she treated her babies.  My poor mind can't comprehend the horror of it. 

And you really have to laugh at the prosecuting QC don't you?  I think his remarks should go down as the under-understatement of 2011.  "An ordinary mother would think twice or more before using a jug to pour food into the mouth of a child," he added.   What a flaming stupid, dense, pathetic statement, no?   An ordinary mother would think twice or more?  Come on you dork, get into the real world here, NO mother except for some evil bitch like this would even THINK about using a bloody JUG to forcefeed their baby with.   And you call yourself a prosecutor?  Huh?  I am glad I have faith in juries, I really really am. 

Now everyone knows that I advocate bringing back the death penalty.  And why I advocate it.  One bullet each.  This whole thing makes me feel sick to my stomach.  The article has glossed over what has been done to the other three children.  We can only imagine what "inappropriate feeding" means.
I cannot say rest in peace little angel because I don't believe this babe will ever rest in peace after what was done to her.  And I loathe that saying with all my heart, for the simple reason that babies should never have to "rest in peace" - they should never have to be "angels". 

Notes to Myself

That always makes me laugh like a loon - 'note to self"  and yet here i am making notes to myself.  I need notes as my brain is mush lately.  Trouble you get when you just simply can't sleep, or when your sleep patterns are simply stupid.  

Note 1 -   never turn on the desk lamp in the study.  The dust shows up something frightful... :(

Note 2 -   maybe a dog is man's best friend, but a dog is woman's fur factory on legs........ :(

Note 3 -   if you put both feet into the same leg on your jeans you are bound to get stuck, if not fall over.  :(

Note 4 -   always unzip before trying to take trousers off, you cannot possibly get them off otherwise  :(

Note 5 -   if you turn on the cold tap then it is useless trying to turn off the water using the hot tap :(

Note 6 -   your hot drink will be hot if you boil the kettle first :(

Note 7 -   no, the kettle won't boil unless you turn it on at the wall, stupid  :(

Note 8 -   no, your backside is not small enough to fit onto the step of the folding ladder  :(

Note 9 -   never carry bucket of fresh water for dogs using the handle.  Now handle has broken you have to mop up the flood in the laundry :(
Note 10 -  if husband isn't wearing hearing aids leave window closed when trying to talk to him.  You will only know you are loud when the neighbours join the conversation :(

Note 11 -  the washing line on the patio is only designed to hold a few kilos in weight.  A full wash will bring it down   :(

Note 12 -  before using nebuliser it is wise to ensure the top and bottom of bowl are secured to each other :(

Note 13 -  likewise for the plastic tubing.  Smart move is to check that it is pushed firmly into place.   :(

Note 14 -  do not attempt to spy on people through clean glass window.  Glass is closer than it appears :(

Note 15 -  before going to the local shop check footwear.  Fluffy slippers dotted with who knows what and covered in dog hair is not classy  :(

Note 16 -  to avoid all out war do not bring home multigrain bread :(

Note 17 -  before cleaning teeth with battery operated toothbrush it is a neat idea to make sure the brush is pushed on properly.  (additonal note to this one - make sure you have found and cleaned up ALL the toothpaste from bathroom walls) :(

Note 18 -  when bending down to put bags on back seat of car make doubly sure that door isnt in the way :(  (I just told you walking into a door is not going to be believed by anyone, don't you ever learn?)

Note 19 -  always leave bedroom door wide open at night.  Nobody believed you last time you left it halfway open and walked into in on way to the loo in the dark.  I walked into a door is not going to be believed by anyone   :(

Note 20 -  always have someone leaning on the shower door when you bath the dogs.  Otherwise have someone standing by ready to mop walls and ceiling when said dog bolts out and shakes mightily while still covered in shampoo  :(

No doubt there will be at least another hundred notes before the end of this month.   You would think we live and learn wouldn't you!

Are You The Perfect Parent? No? Why Not?

It seems the world is full of perfect parents doesn't it?  Everywhere you look there are mothers giving us glimpses into their perfect lives, with their amazing and well-behaved children.  They never have to raise their voice to their kids, and never seem to have a hair out of place themselves.   Their houses are neat and tidy even! Whilst you and I are late, yet again, for the school bell, running down the street with one arm in our jacket, hair flying, struggling to put the other sleeve on whilst wrestling with our handbag, the dog's lead and a stroller.   We get there red-faced and sweaty, with a screaming toddler and a dog desperate for a pee - to find Super Dooper Mother looking at us with scorn on her perfectly made up face.

Want to know a secret?  She is a myth, a liar and a fraud!  Yep.  No such thing in this world as a Super Dooper Mother.  She's a legend only in her own nappy bag.  This intimidating,  superbly organised woman isn't really mother to her family at all.  That is the job of someone else - the au pair, the nanny, the mother and even, in some families I have know - the father!  She is not really a mother at all, not in the ways that count, and she sure isn't perfect.

We have so much pressure put on us and our style of parenting that it just isn't funny.  And because of the way that families are often scattered or alienated we have precious little backup in many cases.  Single parents, and yep I mean men as well, have it really tough.  Some are trying to juggle jobs, kids, home, finances - and there is always someone ready to jump in and point the finger at something they don't agree with.  Singles without work find it even harder going, as they are not only working to an extremely tight budget (not easy with a child or children) but also have the fingers pointed because they don't have a job?   I often think people can't win, whatever they do.

The whole of our lives we spend with the thought in the back of our minds "what will (whoever) say?" - and how wrong is this?  For the life of me I don't understand why we have to poke our unwanted noses into other people's lives and their business. It is different if they ask us, but mostly they don't ask and we get their opinion anyway.  Most of us have at least one upset like this, some have many more.   Meanwhile, we are doing the best we can to care for and raise our families.

We keep being bombarded by articles about how we shouldn't smack our children, how we shouldn't be giving them pain relief, how we shouldn't be using this product or that product.  "You can't eat this, You can't eat that.  You can't eat chips, Cause you get too fat!"  There are scandals about people who are overweight and have children - a little sidebar here - Once upon a time we were known as Bigger Women.  Then the health people stepped in and decided (in their infinite wisdom) to change the system of measuring our bodies.  So that when I looked on a chart at the Pharmacy I saw that I was OBESE.... well I was so shocked, as I was 5'1"  tall and was half a stone overweight.   I really couldn't believe it.  Even the pharmacist and the doctor said the system of Body Mass Index is a bit ridiculous.   I mean, to most of us half a stone overweight is just a bit of extra weight on you, not obese?  So what does that make me now that I am 2 stone overweight?  Nelly the Elephant?  You have to laugh.  Except that because of this stupidity we now have a generation of women (or even two) who are stigmatised and traumatised because of being labelled obese.  Use another word for goodness sake.

Right, on with the show.   We need to keep in our minds a few things to help us when we are being doubtful about whether we are good at being a parent!   Children really don't need much, you know?  They have basic rights, which are their basic needs!   They need food, clothing, shelter and love.   And no, they don't need the biggest and the best of everything to be amused and happy.  Kids will have enormous fun with ordinary things like a cardboard box!  A laundry basket!  They can play "lets pretend" until the cows come home, and it is good for them too.   It is great if we can get wonderful toys, but it isn't necessary!  What is the one thing that babies love more than any other - your keys!   Clothing is the same.  A warm outfit for cold weather doesn't have to be a fancy dancy designer label.  The kid can't read, so they don't care!  I always cut the labels out anyway because they irritated my baby's skin!

The most important thing in a child's life, I believe, is love and mum's attention.   Well it is actually more than a belief, we have seen what lack of attention and love does to babies.  There was a program on tv when I was living in UK.  I am not sure but I think it was Anneka Rice.  The program team went into an orphanage in Bosnia, and they did a huge makeover there (which they followed up, incidentally).  The things they found there made the experienced cameraman cry.  There was a basement, dark (no lights), damp floors from drains backing up.  There were any number of babies and tiny tots in cots - wet, cold, hungry, unattended and lonely.  They had never had anything much in their lives and especially not cuddles and love.  They lay there, most of them not even crying any more.  And to watch them bloom was just wonderful and heartwarming.   To see them start to learn about hugs and love was to reduce you again to tears.   They had to be taught how to play, having never seen a toy.

Bosnian Orphanage

I just want you to contrast that with your home, and your child or children.   Ok, we shout at them sometimes but gee whiz they push buttons don't they?   A shout here and there is fine, not all the time mind, because they just learn to ignore you!   A smack once in a blue moon is ok too, because again, they push the boundaries.   But if this is leavened with all your love, and lots of time and attention, thoughtful understanding and compassion then you are doing fine.   It doesn't matter if there is a mad mess in the house, kids turn a place upside down in minutes.  It's part of their job really!  And it is healthy for them, honestly it is.   If you have lots of dirt that is not so good for anyone.  There is a huge difference between children's toys littering the place and downright filth though!  You don't have to have a show home, and you never will while the kids are little!

And accidents?  Every child who ever was has had accidents!  I am convinced it is why their bones are so soft to begin with, so they bounce rather than break!   They are little but can go like lightning, and we are not physically capable of watching them every second of every day!  Many mums stress out and feel they are bad when their child falls or has any kind of accident - not so!  We make our homes as child safe and child proof as possible. They are kids being kids and we are mums worrying and trying to keep them safe.   And the little stinkers often learn to do something before we realise - like rolling over - so PLOP!  An accident doesn't make you a candidate for worst mother of the year!  It just means everything is normal really.

We don't need to be Super Dooper Mummy, we have more depth than that!   Our children don't know hunger, or cold, or neglect.  When we look at them they respond with the biggest smiles, and love and cuddles from little bodies.   What could be more perfect than that?  Want to tell me now that you aren't a perfect parent?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate?

An article in the Washington Post this week said that in 2010, more than 11,000 kindergarten children in California had not received at least one vaccine, and that parents are using a "personal belief exemption"  to avoid immunising their child. To cap it off, this is the highest rate "declined" vaccines since approx. 1978.  The frightful thing this is that last year in California there were more than 9,100 people who contracted whooping cough, and 10 babies died from the disease.  Health officials there believe the opting out is due to misinformation - I would say a lot of this is on the internet also.   This ridiculous scare mongering has been around since before I had my daughter, who is 34.  There is no foundation, no basis for the scare tactics by a certain segment of the public, and the media in general.    The articles states that John Talarico, chief of immunisation branch of the California Department of Public Health, said:

“We really think a lot of it is due to honest, valid concern that parents do the best thing for their child coupled with misinformation that gets out through various forms of communication”


In the past few days I have read, with growing horror, of an outbreak of polio virus type 1 in China.  Just this month 10 children have been confirmed to have the virus.  That is 10 children too many! The World Health Organisation has isolated the virus taken from these children and has confirmed that the strains were genetically linked to the virus which is currently circulating in Pakistan.  WHO still does not know if the virus was spread from China to Pakistan or vice versa.  Pakistan reported 84 cases of polio this year - and this is an increase of 48 on last year.  There are only four countries in the world which are still reporting cases of polio.   These are Pakistan, Nigeria, India and Afghanistan.


The gravest concern is the high risk of the virus spreading internationally, particularly where there are large population movements around the Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca in Saudi Arabia.

This outbreak and the potential for polio spreading around the world in a short time should be of huge concern to everyone.  Countries such as USA, UK, and Australia have business connections in both Pakistan and China, and thus there is travel to and from these countries.  America has military personnel in Pakistan.   China is a popular holiday destination from Australia.  People travel to India, Pakistan, China and return home - are they carrying the virus with them?   There is a strong, if misguided movement AGAINST vaccinating children, both here in Australia and in America.  Obviously children who are not vaccinated are totally unprotected.   Polio has no cure.


The World Health Channel gives the following information

Poliomyelitis (polio) is a serious disease, caused by infection with one of the three types of poliovirus. The virus is spread through contact with food, water or hands that are contaminated with the faeces (poo) or throat secretions of an infected person.Symptoms vary from mild, flu-like symptoms to life-threatening paralysis. In one to two per cent of cases, polio affects the nerves, resulting in paralysis of the arms, legs or the diaphragm (which controls breathing). Between two and five per cent of people who develop paralytic polio will die. Half of those who survive will have permanent paralysis.Polio can be prevented with immunisation. All children and adults should receive the vaccine.


Symptoms of polio

Polio symptoms generally appear between three and 21 days after infection. However, many people infected with poliovirus have no symptoms and may not even know they are affected. In mild polio cases, symptoms include:

    Tiredness and weakness (malaise)
    Nausea and vomiting
    Muscle stiffness.

If the virus spreads to the nervous system, major illness such as meningitis (brain infection) and paralysis can occur. The onset of paralysis is generally quite rapid – usually within three to four days.

Symptoms include:

    Severe muscle pain
    Stiffness of the neck and back, with or without paralysis
    Swallowing and breathing problems
    Long-term disability, due to paralysis of the muscles
    Death in severe cases, when breathing and swallowing muscles are


The poliovirus enters the body through the ‘orofaecal route’. That means it is spread when food, water or hands that are contaminated with the faeces (poo) or oropharyngeal (throat) secretions of an infected person are put into the mouth of another person. A person may develop symptoms within three to 21 days of coming into contact with the virus. They will be most infectious seven to 10 days before and after the start of symptoms. However, they remain infectious as long as the virus continues to be excreted in their faeces (poo). This may continue for several weeks. Typically, the virus remains in the throat for one to two weeks.

Polio is a terrifying, devastating disease.  Between 1930 and 1960 there were 40,000 cases of paralytic poliomyelitis recorded in Australia. In real numbers those infected with  polio  could be up to 100 times greater. This is because only 1 in100 cases of polio causes complete paralysis, requiring hospitalisation and mandatory reporting.  A large percentage of the ‘non-paralytic’ and non-reported polio infections would still have caused considerable damage to the motor neurons.

It is now known that polio also has late effects, which can occur up to 30 years after the infection.  It is estimated that up to 4 MILLION people were infected in Australia between 1930 and 1988.  Polio can cause total paralysis in a few hours.  It is not confined to infants, but can affect all ages.  People can become carriers, showing no symptoms but infecting others.  Polio can infect thousands before the first case of paralysis is seen - the WHO considers that one confirmed case of paralysis is evidence of an epidemic.

I cannot urge you strongly enough to ensure your children are vaccinated, and to have a booster yourself.  Because the virus lives in the intestines and is passed in faeces, when your child has been vaccinated you must take extreme care to wash your hands thoroughly before and after changing a nappy, as it is possible for the virus to be passed to you.  I am sure that the nurse or doctor administering the vaccine will advise everyone of the proper precautions to take after vaccination.


When I was in high school there was a boy my age who had a cumbersome brace on his leg, which he literally had to drag around with him.  He had contracted polio when he was small.   The effects of the vaccine last for a day or so (if the child has any reaction!) but the effects of the disease itself last a lifetime, IF the child is lucky enough to survive.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Attack by Piranhas and Wild Dogs

Well the angry ant is well and truly on the warpath now.  My blogging friend Amy "Mimi" Wylie put up a blog, commenting on what the UK Government are saying about older mothers and risk, and obese mothers and risk.  Fair enough?  Health authorities world wide agree about the risk to obese mothers, and by that they MEAN OBESE, NOT JUST A BIT OVERWEIGHT.   They are the ones who have to try to save the mother's life throughout the pregnancy, and save the life of the growing baby.  And then at the birth they are the ones who have to try to bring both mother and baby safely through the delivery.  After delivery, they are the ones who have to try to stabilise the newborn and sort out any problems the baby may have because of mother's obesity.  So they are going to be concerned, and why not?   And it is YOUR tax money paying for this too, by the way.

However.   If someone puts up a blog, and expresses an opinion, it is not meant as an attack on ANY ONE of the BLOG READERS ok?   And what happened after this blog went up?   A flood of filth was directed at Amy, personally:  hate mail, vicious comments, the works.  Amy says:

"Most involved my parenting and my children. Yeah, thanks for that, its not like I already doubt myself as a mother or anything!
Then I was called a f*cking nazi bitch and told I should rot in hell. Apparently all my children should be taken into care etc etc. One message had me in tears, telling me that I deserved to lose my children. She went into detail how they would be ripped from me whilst they screamed for me. I have spoken to the police about it, and they will be coming to see me on Monday."

Now I ask - what in the hell is wrong with you people?  Did you even read the bloody blog?  Obviously NOT or you wouldn't attack someone in such a vicious, cowardly fashion.    I am disgusted, absolutely livid, and I hope I never find out who send these vile messages to a  decent young woman, because I honestly don't know how I could contain my fury.    You should hang your heads in SHAME!   As for attacking someones parenting skills - that again is the lowest of the low.  Judge not, remember?   This is an absolute, utter disgrace.  The cowards who did this don't even have the guts to comment openly so that everyone can see the vileness they have spewed.

If you are overweight, wear it or lose it - don't fly at someone like a pack of wild dogs because they happen to talk about OBESITY  -  DO HALF OF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT OBESITY IS?   Or do you just believe that because you are size 18 you are obese?  GET SOME FACTS EH?    And what Amy mentions in her blog about Morbidly Obese?  I agree - morbidly obese - you got any idea what that means, or are you just flying off into a rage because weight is mentioned and you KNOW you need to slim down?    By gee I do, loads, but I don't launch savage attacks at anyone who points this out to me.     Let me explain to you piranhas what MORBIDLY OBESE MEANS :

From the medical dictionary :   Obesity traditionally has been defined as a weight at least 20% above the weight corresponding to the lowest death rate for individuals of a specific height, gender, and age (ideal weight). Twenty to forty percent over ideal weight is considered mildly obese; 40-100% over ideal weight is considered moderately obese; and twice the ideal weight is considered severely, or morbidly, obese.

Note - Lowest DEATH rate.  

Morbidly means unhealthy or unwholesome.  In other words, someone who is suffering from the problems associated with being twice or more the weight they should be, which includes heart problems, breathing problems, diabetes, up to a third increased risk of some forms of cancer, risk of stroke, as well as many other medical problems.

Also, to those who would argue that some people who are morbidly obese have a genetic or glandular problem the response to this is:

Note: Mutations in the leptin gene are linked to insatiable appetite, morbid obesity and clinical defects which respond to leptin therapy. However, leptin gene mutations are ‘case report rare’ and for most of those suffering from morbid obesity, the problem is not genetic


In other words, the majority of us only have ourselves to blame.

I just wonder how many of the women (and I am using that term loosely here) who emailed Amy were able to sleep soundly and peacefully the following night?  Because quite honestly I hope you never have another undisturbed night in your lives.  What you did was reprehensible (look it up, don't stay ignorant all your lives), it was worse than outrageous.   It was literally vile.    It is times like this when I am so ashamed of my sex that I cannot adequately describe how I feel.

This blog is NOT directed at anyone except those who chose, of their own free will, to misinterpret what Amy said, and to launch their sneaky, vile and disgraceful email attack.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.