Thursday, February 9, 2012

In The Orifice

Here I am, at the desk in my orifice, blethering away about the most frustrating few days I have had since...whenever.  I only wanted a few pieces of paper, you know how it is?   I used to be organised, but I haven't even done any shredding for years (ahem). And by the look of it, no filing either. (ahem again)

So.  I wanted these bits of paper, but last year some time (or maybe the year before?) we had all our floors tiled.  So when it came to what room is next we would have about 24 hours to clear the room.  What a shambles.   Came time for the orifice and all sorts of fun was had.  Had to empty files, and dismantle furniture and move 5,000 books.  All the paperwork sort of got shoved here and there and there and here.  Into boxes and rubber bands and pillow cases.

When it was all moved back in we had some pieces of new furniture, so there are a bazillion things that don't have homes now. Sigh.  They just got shoved anywhere.  God help us all!

Ah. Now I need these pieces of paper, do you think I can find them?   I realise I still have paperwork from the year 2000.....oh the shame.   And every year is muddled into every other year. Oh. my. god.  What a bloody mess, and there is a pile 2ft high on the filing cabinet, another one 3ft high on the desk, a further 2ft high on the bookshelves.  A plastic storage box crammed to the top. Another pile on the sewing table. Picture it if you can. And I can't find any rubber bands.

Much muttering and sighing and a few tears, many foul words and four days later, shifting papers hither and yon and back again, totally confused to the point where I can't even remember what the hell I wanted in the first place.   Suddenly - hey! there is a box in the cupboard with paperwork!  Shit.  I bet the pieces are in there, what do you bet?   Last place you look, well it was last because it was hidden - but there the pieces were.   I spent 2 more days sorting through that pile, found the papers and promptly lost them in a great deluge when everything avalanched off the desk. Puts head on arms and weeps ...

Now I have everything out of the cupboard, littering the floor, and there are still piles of paper everybloodywhere.

Maybe I should get organised.  Maybe I should just throw it all out the window and burn the freaking lot. Especially since I can't remember now why I wanted the pieces of paper. Sigh.

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